More discipline and fewer toys

28 08 2007

liv-temper-tantrums.gifDad’s want the very best for their children, but often they go overboard in their ambition and get it very, very wrong, argues David J. Bredehoft, Ph.D., chairman of the department of social and behavioral sciences at Concordia University, in St. Paul, Minnesota.

“Parents who spoil their kids mean well, but they just give too much: too much stuff or too much love or too much freedom,” says the coauthor of How Much Is Enough?, a book about balancing love and discipline. “Spoiling our children doesn’t make them happy; it makes them very unhappy.” Read the full story here.

The article goes on to say… overindulged kids don’t learn many of the life skills they need to become fully functioning, happy adults. They tend to have an increased sense of self-importance, while at the same time, they have money-management issues, relationship problems, poor conflict-resolution skills, trouble taking responsibility for their actions, and problems making decisions. And it’s cyclical: When an overindulged child becomes a parent, he believes that he can’t control his kid’s behavior and that he’s not responsible for it. He feels incompetent as a parent because he lacks the skills to parent effectively.

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2 responses

20 09 2007
theepiphany

I agree completely. I have observed time and time again that so-called “deprived” children (those from families who have very little) are much more content and happy than ones who are given everything their heart desires.

16 11 2007
Elise Tissot

It is easy to recognise overindulgence when the obvious hallmarks of excess are present, and yes, an overindulged wealthy child is easier to spot than an overindulged “deprived” child…. but I dont’ believe for a minute that wealth or poverty are good barometres for overindulgence – it’s really about setting limits.

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