Congratulations?

4 07 2007

pregnant-15.jpgIt happened again today. She smiled and said, “I just found out I’m having twins!” I returned the smile and said “Congratulations!” 

A moment after, I remembered that she was not married. In fact, although she is not one of my church members, I had spoken with her on several occasions about turning her life around and living for Christ. Indeed, the last time I’d seen her she told me she was going to a church near her home and was really living for the Lord now. 

Anyway, I was wondering, is it no longer a big deal to have children out of wedlock?  This kind of thing happens fairly often. I have even heard of church members announcing with great enthusiasm that they were going to be grandparents and then asking to have a baby shower at the church for the unwed mother to be. 

Now it doesn’t surprise me that lost people act the way they do, but the casual indifference among God’s people seems a bit odd. What do you think? Does it matter anymore?

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6 responses

4 07 2007
Shirley

Hello!

I fear your observations have accurately detected within in our society a very real deviation from God and His principles. Sadly, I also have seen similar responses among God’s people. It’s shameful.

sjb

5 07 2007
Kim

Hi, this very thing just happened in our church. The lay ministers’ foster daughter (17)got pregnant and we had a shower for her and the baby after church services. Then later the baby was baptised in the church with the mother and “partner”.

Not much was said about it. In my heart there was pain that God and his teachings were being ignored. This matters very much to me!

kim

5 07 2007
Noogatiger

Which is more important to you guys, showing love to people, (see Jesus whom to claim to believe in), or making sure you all abide by the legalistic rules you setup?

See, this is one good reason why I no longer go to Church. The Jesus you guys claim to believe was known to hang around the wrong crowd. He associated with publicans and sinners, yet church people like you guys are too worried about the rules to simply show some love to everyone. Do you think this young lady and family, and the new child is more apt to see the love of Jesus you proclaim with acceptence of her as a human, (mistakes and all), or with a strict obedience to rules and regulations which would have excluded her from your church altogether. Really, do you think Jesus would say, “Well sorry honey, but I just can’t associate with you, because you have not followed the rules.”

The church seems to be full of unconditional love and acceptence at first, then you find out later that there are a lot of conditions and not much love.

5 07 2007
kclick

Dear one for whom Christ died,

You make several common mistakes:
1. Equating love with total indulgence and acceptance of sinful behavior (which, by the way, ultimately condemns God for not being “loving” enough to just accept sinners without the sacrificial death of Christ).

2. Ignoring the parts of the Bible that call for holy living and accountability.

3. Condemning others for condemning others (logically self-defeating).

4. Setting up a false dilemma – (Two choices given when in actuality there are more choices.) For example, when you write: “Which is more important to you guys, showing love to people, (see Jesus whom to claim to believe in), or making sure you all abide by the legalistic rules you setup?”

5. Labeling Biblical standards for Christian conduct “legalism.”

6. Justifying one’s departure from church on the above mistakes.

12 07 2007
Noogatiger

When you setup your own personal convictions as a sin for others, that’s legalism.

If a person commits a sin, (according to your or your books standards), what do you do then? Do you judge them and publicly repudiate and humiliate them? Do you shun them altogether? Do you send them away so nobody sees them for awhile? Seriously what would your saviour do? Would your Jesus do what you guys are calling for? Would Jesus have a haughty self-righteous attitude?

I never ever said love is total indulgence or even total acceptance of bad behavior. I have total love for my kids. If my daughter gets pregnant before she is married, I will still love her. I will still help her out. I will still show my love to her. I will not throw her out into the cold cruel world alone. Does that mean I condone or totally accept what she did, NO. It is ok to tell someone they made a mistake, but then you should move on and show some compassion. It is OK to tell someone you don’t agree with what they did, but then if they are family and you love them move forward. Love is not bringing my judgement s down upon her. Love is not me making her pay for her sins. Life itself will take care of that.

Which is better:
Honey, I know you made a mistake, but you can no longer come to church here. We cannot give you a baby shower. We cannot allow you to do church work. We cannot allow you to be seen in our choir. We cannot be associated with you in any public way, because we have standards to uphold you know.

or

Honey I know you made a mistake. However we love you and we will help you through this. We will support you and show our love to you. You are still a big part of our church and our family here. Stay with us and we will stand by you.

Now, which method is most likely to produce the happy well adjusted Christian family down the road. Which one is most likely what your Jesus would have done?

By your own book, laws and legalism were for the Old Testament. Why not show some grace, which is what you guys claim that your Jesus came to show the world now isn’t it?

12 07 2007
kclick

Noogatiger,

The question of the post is… “What do you think, does it matter anymore?”

In your case, since you are no longer a Christian or church member, it simply becomes a personal question: Either it matters or it doesn’t matter how your daughter gets pregnant.

Which is it for you?

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