Pushy Christians

12 12 2007

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!”

“Why shouldn’t I” he said. I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!” He said, “Like what?” I said, “Well…are you religious or atheist?” He said, “Religious,” I said, “Me too!

Are you monotheistic or polytheistic?” He said “monotheistic.” I said, “Me too!

Are you Christian or Muslim?” He said, “Christian.” I said, “Me too!

 

Are you Catholic or Protestant?” He said “Protestant.” I said, “Me too!

Are you charismatic or non-charismatic?” He said, “Non-charismatic.” I said, “Me too!

Do you believe in predestination or free will?” He said, “Both.” I said, “Me too!

Are you a liberal or a conservative?” He said, “Conservative.” I said, “Me too!

Are you Presbyterian or Baptist?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you use the King James Version or some other translation?” He said, “King James.” I said, “Me too!  

Do you use the Scofield or Thompson Chain?” He said, “Scofield.” I said, “Me too!

Do you use the New Scofield or the Old Scofield?” He said, “The new.”

I said, “You heretic!” and pushed him off.

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